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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847757">for when that bell rings, lover you're on your own</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakura_freefall/pseuds/sakura_freefall'>sakura_freefall</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Les Misérables - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Bittersweet/Open Ending, Canon Era, Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Marius is a sad sad noodle, Multi, POV Alternating, Pining, Sad, This hurt to write ;-;, This is just really sad y'all, Unreliable Narrator, canon compliant character death, marieposette, okay a little comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:00:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakura_freefall/pseuds/sakura_freefall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A should have been, a would have been, and a could have been, in that order.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cosette Fauchelevent/Marius Pontmercy/Éponine Thénardier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>for when that bell rings, lover you're on your own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Marius/Eponine/Cosette... except for given the circumstances, it's more like mutual pining they never got past.</p><p>I'm sorry okay I wanted to write some angst and this happened.</p><p>Title is from The Ballad Of Lucy Gray Baird from TBOSAS.</p><p>Kudos and comments are appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He hears the gun go off before he sees her. And for a moment, he's stunned by the loud noise before he realizes that he's alive and he's not hurt. He doesn't see her yet. He never sees her but maybe he did and maybe he should and is it too late and <em>oh no please don't let it be too late.</em></p><p>It's too late because she has a bullet in her stomach and a shattered hand and she's barely breathing and the rain is pouring down and ruining the ammunition but he doesn't know that because she's in his arms struggling to live and-</p><p>A million fragmented memories are stirring up in his mind. Memories of city streets and teasing and sunlight and warm embraces and books and easy conversation and rejected coins and <em>no no no no no no no.</em></p><p>Eponine can't be dying. She can't be. She isn't allowed to, not right now, not like this, not here where he told her not to come but she came anyway because she doesn't give a damn what anyone tells her to do and she saved his life and she's not allowed to die for him.</p><p>The universe doesn't care what Marius thinks is allowed.</p><p>Just like Cosette isn't allowed to move to England and leave him behind or how his father wasn't allowed to die before he could see him, just like how the cornerstones that hold him up aren't allowed to break beneath him.</p><p>A triangle is the strongest shape, but take away one side and the entire thing collapses.</p><p>And it's not <em>fair </em>because he never even thought for a second that it could be like <em>that </em>until-</p><p>Until now. Until now when it's too late and she's dying in his arms and he can't even talk because the words choke him and get stopped in his throat.</p><p>
  <em>Say something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Say something.</em>
</p><p>Marius is stupid and Marius is selfish and Marius needs to say something, let her know that no, no, he's here, she's his, they're here, she's going to be okay even though she isn't, she knows that, but he needs to tell her that he loves her, or could love her, or just <em>needs </em>her but he can't talk and he can't be anything at all.</p><p>Marius can't see anything. No.</p><p>Marius can see everything. He can see brown fabric and black hair and raindrops and tears and red, and red, and red. He can see the letter and he can see <em>her </em>and he-</p><p>Somebody tells him to get up.</p><p>He can't move. He can't. Not now.</p><p>"She's dead, Marius."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"We need to move."</p><p>"I-" How is he supposed to do this, how is he supposed to say everything, the confused and tangled mess of feelings in his chest, feelings that are twice as complicated when he remembers Cosette and it's a burning mass of hot coals that burn him when he tries to breathe.</p><p>One of them says something and Marius can't hear because the world has faded to a buzz that is everywhere just like Eponine was and he didn't even tell her he loved her because he was too afraid of himself to do it.</p><p>He loves Cosette. He loves her so so much and the letter from her is clutched in his hand and she's everything he never knew he needed and he hopes that if by some twist of fate she doesn't leave and he survives then they can spend their lives together.</p><p>But Eponine won't be there.</p><p>Live or die, he's going to lose one of them, because the universe doesn't give a shit about what's fair.</p><p>He's not sure if he wants to make the choice.</p><p><strong>X</strong>XX</p><p>Eponine can't-</p><p>Eponine-</p><p>She can hardly remember her name. There is nothing in the world but her and the pain. Red and black smear together into a blanket that suffocates her and she becomes the pain, because it is all she can feel.</p><p>
  <em>Wait.</em>
</p><p>There's something else. Someone else. Tugging at the back of her mind.</p><p>
  <em>Him.</em>
</p><p>His face is blotchy and his hair is slicked dark against his face and he looks at her with an expression she can't quite interpret.</p><p>Maybe she'd know him if everything didn't hurt so much, the stabs of pain banishing any thought that tried to push forward.</p><p>She looks at him and it feels like something's pulling her eyes shut, except for she fights it because in the one part of her mind that hasn't been consumed by pain, she is vaguely aware of him saying something. Telling her to stay awake.</p><p>She can't fight it forever but she can fight it for a few more moments and maybe he will stop crying.</p><p>She can feel the rain on her face. It's cold and wet, like the sky is crying. It makes her smile a little through the pain. Rain. Rain on her face, rain in his hair, and they are the only people in the world.</p><p>The pain clutches at her like dragon claws, pulling her away slowly even though she wants to stay with him, stay with the person who's begging her to live, and she's so sorry but she can't stay awake any longer and she hopes he'll forgive her.</p><p>He's crying and someone's shouting and his hand is on her face and the string holding her to him and his world is snapping. The sea of pain drags her down under until she can't feel anything anymore, she can't feel any pain, and all there is is something warm and soft and safe.</p><p>X<strong>X</strong>X</p><p>"Cosette," Marius says, and they're in the garden, watching the sun begin to set.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Do you remember Eponine?"</p><p>The name pulls forth a memory that Cosette had forgotten she has, a memory of a dingy pub and a rubber sword and a heavy broom. Yes, that is where Eponine is from. They were children together, before Papa rescued her.</p><p>She wonders now why Papa didn't think to rescue Eponine as well.</p><p>"What about her?"</p><p>"She died, remember? At the barricades."</p><p>Eponine is dead. Eponine is dead. Eponine and dead are two words that don't go together well because when Cosette knew her, at least, she always seemed so <em>alive. </em>So full of fire and so smart and mean and genuine. Eponine and death are like magnets set opposite from each other. Bristling away from each other.</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"It was three years ago, today. She died. She died and I- I never- I never got to tell her I loved her."</p><p>"You loved her?" Cosette is surprised. Cosette had only seen her a few times in passing, really, and she was pretty if a bit bedraggled, and in Cosette's opinion that made her beautiful, but boys, in her experience, didn't always think the same way.</p><p>"I did. Except for I loved you too, just as much. And I- I didn't even- She-"</p><p>"Tell me about her."</p><p>"She was smart. She could read as well as I. She stopped her father and his gang from robbing your house, even after he threatened her. She was quiet though, a lot of the time. Like she wanted to say something but she kept it down. She found your address for me. She saved my life."</p><p>"Then for that I am grateful."</p><p>"You would have liked her, Cosette. I do believe the two of you would've been good friends."</p><p>Eponine, then, is a missed opportunity. Cosette could've liked- maybe even loved this strange street girl with candlelight in her eyes and raindrops in her hair.</p><p>It's growing darker. "Come, Marius, it's getting cold. We'd best go inside." She squeezes her husband's hand, pressing a kiss to his cheek, leaving the memories and possibilities and could've-beens in the summer night's air, where they belong.</p><p>Somewhere in the distance, a warm breeze sighs.</p><p>XX<strong>X</strong></p><p> </p><p> </p>
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